5 Things I’m Saying No To This Year
I’m a yes person. Of course, I know how to stand up for myself (and loved ones), and voice my opinion when I think something is wrong, but I also have a hard time saying no. If these past few days have taught me anything, it’s that I need to use my voice (and platform) to stand up for what’s right and for what I believe in, but it’s also okay to let go of things I have no control over. I love saying yes to the happy and joyful things in life, but I’ve quickly realized the value in saying no, and standing my grounds. There’s a lot of power and gratification in saying yes all the time, but there’s also strength in saying no. I only have so much energy, so moving forward I’m really going to try to focus my time on the positive things in life.
Starting with, letting go of the need to always be right. This is going to be a tough one, cause once my mind is made up, and I think I’m right, it’s hard for me to see the other side. My parents always said I should have been a lawyer, cause I like to argue and debate so often, and that’s honestly just so much energy. If I’m looking to build and develop a stronger and more meaningful relationship with loved ones, having an open dialogue is key. It’s never a good idea to make your others feel like they are constantly wrong. I truly believe the more knowledgeable we are, and listening and learning from others, is how we grow and succeed in life. It’s all about improving situations, relationships and ourselves. Of course, there are a few things that are non-negotiable in my books, like human rights and equality.
Playing off the first change, I also need to stop complaining about things I have no control over. I’m actually pretty good at this, I tend to think of myself as a positive person, but there are things that get under my skin and that annoy me. I need to be thankful for what I have, and if I don’t like something, try to figure out ways to change it. If I can’t actually change it, I need to learn to control my anger and attitude towards that. We get nowhere when we stress about the small stuff and take things too seriously. I need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, if it’s out of my control, I need to forget about it and move on. I have to stop and ask myself, will it even matter tomorrow, a month from now, or even a year later.. if the answer is no, I need to let it go.
Next up, stop stressing over being perfect. I’m not going to lie, this is going to be hard for me. The sooner I realize I’m not Superwoman, the happier I will become. I’ve always been that person that finds it difficult to ask for help, partly because I always think I can do a better job (and quicker) on my own. I’ve always been the type of person to get the task done without someone having to ask me or being supervised. When I set a goal, I don’t stop until I achieve it, no matter how stressed that may leave me. I prioritize things that are not really important and get obsessed with it, until it’s complete. I feel guilty if I’m not doing something, cause I feel like I‘m wasting time. The sooner I realize that life isn’t all about work, chores and setting unachievable ambitions, the sooner I’ll be able to breathe and be happier.
I’m going to stop saying bad things about myself. I have to admit, I have come a long way and for the most part, feel comfortable in my body. That doesn’t mean there’s the odd days where I say, I hate my boobs, I wish I had a smaller forehead or wish that my lips were more plump. We all know saying bad things about ourselves is so damaging to our mental health, yet here we are judging ourselves on the daily. Negative thoughts don’t do us any good. We have to stop the negative thought train in its track. We need to hype ourselves up the same way we hype up our friends. Instead of indulging the self-pity party, we need to shift our focus on the things we love about ourselves. I need to stay more positive and think about the reasons my loved ones adore me.
Saying no to toxic people. I need to start making more time for people who don’t bring me down. I removed negative friendships in the past, and its amazing how quickly things can turn around, when you remove toxic people from your life. I need to start hanging out (when we can actually see humans again) with like-minded individuals who have the same values as me and who hype me up, instead of bringing me down. I’ll be reflecting on the people who are in my life and the energy they bring. I’m going to start being emotionally honest with who’s in my life and for what reason.
What I Wore- Tee- c/o Zink Made, Purse- Lofthouse Living, Bracelets- c/o Nogu, Skirt- c/o Unique Vintage, Heels- Zara